Chapter 1 - The Weight of a PromiseThe air inside St. Catherine’s Hospital suddenly felt suffocating. The antiseptic smell of bleach and baby formula mixed together in a sickening cocktail that made my head spin.
I promised I would take the baby home.
Ryan’s words hung in the sterile hallway like an executioner’s axe.
"Take him home?" I repeated, my voice cracking violently. "What are you talking about, Ryan? Emily has a home. She has an apartment downtown, she has a lease, she has a life—why would you be the one to take her baby home?"
Ryan swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in a throat that looked entirely too dry. "Beth, keep your voice down. Please. You don’t understand what happened in that delivery room."
"Then make me understand!" I shouted, completely ignoring the sharp look from a passing pediatrician. "For five months, you watched me cry over negative pregnancy tests. For five months, you held me while I grieved a family we couldn't create. And all the while, you knew my sister was carrying a child? You were keeping her secrets? While I was bleeding my heart out on your shoulder, you were playing house with my sister?"
"I wasn't playing house!" Ryan flinched, stepping forward as if to grab my shoulders, but stopped himself, dropping his hands to his sides. "Emily didn't want anyone to know. Not yet. She was terrified."
"Terrified of what? Of me?" A bitter, humorless laugh escaped my lips. "Did she think I would steal her thunder? Did she think I’d be jealous because my own body failed while hers worked just fine?"
"Yes," Ryan said bluntly.
The honesty of it hit me harder than a slap. I staggered back a step, colliding gently with the vinyl-covered wall.
"She was scared of your reaction, Beth," Ryan continued, his voice dropping to a desperate, gravelly whisper. "She knew how much pain you were in. Every time you looked at a baby bump, she saw you break a little bit more inside. When she found out she was pregnant, she didn't know how to tell you. By the time she finally decided to, she was showing, and the panic set in. She came to me because... because I was the only person she felt safe talking to."
"Safe," I whispered. The word tasted like ash. "My husband was the safe space for my sister's pregnancy secret, while I was left completely in the dark."
Before Ryan could answer, the heavy double doors of the recovery ward swung open further. The doctor who had called for Ryan stepped out entirely, his expression grim and tired.
"Mr. Walker," the doctor said, his eyes shifting past Ryan to land directly on me. "Are you Beth? Emily’s sister?"
"Yes," I managed to choke out.
"She’s asking for you specifically now. Both of you. She’s stable, but her blood pressure is still fluctuating. You should come in."
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I looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at me.
Without another word, I pushed past the doctor, my sneakers squeaking sharply against the hospital floor, and walked through the doors into a world I never knew existed.
